Short Story: Final Thoughts

*NOTE: Once again, remember folks. This is all fiction. Enjoy!

Final Thoughts


People ask me why I've done the things I've done. Fess up, they tell me. You're at the end of the road anyway. I mean, they've caught you, you're gonna die for what you've done. Might as well tell us why.

Not sure why you want to know. Maybe you think it'll help you sleep at night to know that it's not you. Maybe you think that if I tell you what caused me to do the things I did it'll give you some idea of what to look for in others that might be tempted to kill.

No matter. I will tell you. I figure it's the least I can do. I took your family away from you, so I will tell you. I don't feel good about what I did, I want you to realize. I mean, yeah everyone says that. It's almost become expected, you know? No self respecting murderer, child molester, or overall bad guy would not say that.

Not to compare myself to a child molester. I mean, I'm not THAT screwed up. Ha Ha.

You think knowing why I did this would make others more aware of what to look for, but you're wrong. I mean, my excuse is so overdone, I admit but it's true. It's been said time and time again in articles on serial killers, mass murderers, even perverts. This one paragraph is always seemingly looked over and ignored. Why? This is the secret right here.

They all had overbearing domineering mothers. Most of the mothers were religious zealots. I mean, real Bible-thumpers. And guess who got thumped the hardest? Who were told they were evil, and that God hated them. Told every day that they would rot in Hell with Satan.

Having problems with your mother doesn't make you a murderer. And I don't suppose being verbally abused does it either. Maybe it's the combo. Maybe it's the fact that you're beaten every day for little or no reason. Maybe it's the fact that your father and brothers and sister didn't do anything to help you. Maybe it's the fact that you were adopted and they never considered you part of the family anyway.

Oh, there had to be a reason? Yeah, like I'm in the way when I'm sitting reading a book. That gets a beating, to show me where I stand in life. Put me in my place.

I don't know what you want to hear. I don't know what to tell you. Am I sorry I took your family away from you? Yes. Do I regret what I've done? Well, I don't know the answer to that. Yeah, I know that contradicts my previous statement.

I guess what I mean is I'm not sorry I did it, I'm sorry it had repercussions. Such as people worrying about the person, grieving that they were dead. If I had to do it all over again, what would I do?

Well, I would probably kill you too. No offense, but if I killed you with them, then I would not have to be sitting here trying to satisfy some masochistic streak in you that needs to hear me tell you how I slaughtered your whole family. Maybe then I could get some sleep before they kill me!

That's right, cry! I don't care! You think I need you here telling me all this stuff and making me all jittery? I'm dying in two days! Don't give me this! Yes, I took your family away from you, and you can't ever get them back. Do you think that makes me happy? Do you think I enjoy that?

No, I don't. I have to live with that, granted it's for two more days, but I have to stand up and account for what I've done after dying, and you think I haven't thought about what I'm gonna say in my defense?

Oh for God's sake, get out of here! I can't deal with you anymore. You came here for closure, and I told you I didn't want to hurt you, or hurt your feelings or whatever.

Why do you feel that you need to come here and harrass me like this? Well, it is harrassing. What gives you the right?

Whatever. Just leave. Just realize that you only have to live with the stigma of a son in prison for only two more days. Then you can go around and tell everyone that your son died with your husband and real kids.

Yeah, well live your life. That's all I can say. Now, leave. I want some time to myself.